You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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