I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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