i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize