Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
