it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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