The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
