you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
