sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
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