Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
