wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
