Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
