i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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