i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
