also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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