You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
