Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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