At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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