I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
