there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
