did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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