We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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