paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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