I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize