I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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