hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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