All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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