he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
