stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
