Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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