He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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