Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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