C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
