so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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