i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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