thus making me awesome and them whores
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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