soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
