I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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