we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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