no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
