Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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