I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
