I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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