next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
