He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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