batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
