i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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