We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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