We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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