She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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