they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
