Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Randomize