woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
