I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
