Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
