There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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