Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize