i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
