i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i dont even know how to be here
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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