Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize