In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
two words...techno handjob
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
