I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
